Modern messaging often tells us to “just do it.” We are told to “Work through your fear ” and reminded “no pain, no gain.” Whether it is starting a business, climbing a mountain, or meeting new people, we are told to step outside of our comfort zone. If we don’t, then we are giving up and giving in.
The Comfort Zone
There is certainly some truth that always giving in to our fear leads to complacency. But, as I learned from business coach, Kelly Diels we don’t need to completely ignore our fear and blast out of our comfort zone. Instead, we can stretch our comfort zone.
Imagine your comfort zone as a balloon. If you just keep inflating and inflating without consideration for the balloons capacity it will eventually pop. Instead, you begin inflating a balloon first by stretching it gently. Then you begin blowing, adding air slowly as you assess remaining capacity. Once the balloon has reached full capacity you tie it off so that you can stop inflating and start enjoying the balloon.
The Function of Fear
Sarah Macken beautifully explains in her Refinery 29 article why the “feel the fear and do it anyway” messaging is both misleading and harmful. It is the product of our capitalist, always-be-producing culture. She wisely contrasts, “There’s stepping out of your comfort zone and then there’s firing yourself like a human cannonball into the flames of high anxiety.”
Fear exists for a reason. Our body and mind are warning us of potential danger. If we continually push through the fear and “just do it” we will be living in a constant state of agitation. This is unsustainable. Like the balloon we will pop. There are many ways we manifest the pop including burnout, anxiety, depression, low self -esteem, and physical illness.
Money Discomfort
If the idea of managing your finances makes you want to hide under the covers, you are not alone. Your response likely indicates that this is an area outside of your comfort zone. The discomfort makes sense.
Finances are complicated. There are so many interconnected areas to keep track of such as budgeting, saving, investing, and taxes. It can be overwhelming.
Money is vital in our society. It is necessary for our survival. Additionally, many people have negative money stories or have had discouraging experiences with money. It makes sense that money is very emotional and can be triggering.
Personal Finance is an area of constant change. Laws change, the economy changes, investment products change, our circumstances change. And with each change we need to reconsider and relearn. With each change we are mentally adapting while also adjusting our nervous systems.
Strategies For Stretching
I wish I had a magic wand; Presto, we are all comfortable with money. In lieu of that we need to come up with alternate strategies to take control of our finances without bursting our balloon.
One way to do this is to narrow our focus. Rather than trying to overhaul our finances, target one specific area at a time. Maybe one’s first step is to create a budget. Once that has been done, then they can move on to assessing their insurance needs or analyzing their investments. Trying to handle every element all at once is the fast track to burnout. In my experience, when I burnout I wind up retreating and not handling any of the topics.
Another way to stretch your comfort zone is to hire a professional to help. Like any other area, an expert can help individuals to focus on what is most important. Professionals can educate people on what they actually need to know. There is value in having someone to hold your hand.
Most people would not try to teach themselves piano or learn Russian on their own. Yet, those same people beat themselves us for not being able to boot strap their financial skills. Most people have received minimal financial education. We have this false idea that personal finance is common knowledge, something we should have just absorbed along the way.
Clearly I am not impartial. This is what I do. And there are many people who do successfully manage their own money. I am not discouraging that if it is an area of personal interest and competency.
For those who find financial management to be outside of their comfort zone I invite you to reflect on small ways that you can work on stretching that zone. Try to avoid the anxiety of focusing about the big picture by zeroing in on the next best step for you.
Relying upon pure willpower and a “just do it” attitude will often result in increased resistance. It also does not guarantee that you are doing it in a way that will provide you with the most favorable results. And, if you decide that you would like a guide or educator along the way, I hope you will contact me to learn how I can help you.