Overwhelm is in the air at this time of year! Personally, I have experienced some heavy lifting recently in coordinating fall activities for a few volunteer organizations. With that barely behind me, I’m already planning for Christmas.
The Change of Seasons Brings Overwhelm
The weather is getting colder, reminding me that I still haven’t changed out my closets for winter. Do I even have warm clothes? I barely remember but I am sure I will locate them as soon as I purchase a replacement.
Professional Overwhelm at Year End
Also, there are so many professional commitments at year end. It’s time to close out 2022 projects while making plans for 2023. When I look at my calendar and compare my goals to my accomplishments it seems like I misplaced four or five months. At least working for myself, I don’t have to worry about fitting in a company holiday party.
It feels as if there is rarely a pause. I imagine more than a few readers can relate. The treadmill of activity occurring this time of year reinforces my desire to divest from productivity culture. I strive to break free from consumerism. I need to “stop shoulding” on myself. But, whenever I tell myself I will intentionally opt out, I come up with a list of reasons not to let go.
It Takes Support to Stop Overextending
In a workshop with the incomparable Jessica Lackey I made a quarterly goal to limit my commitments and stop overextending. Stating this objective publicly has been helping me stay of track. But it is still not easy. Rather than worrying about what I haven’t gotten to yet, I worry about the ramifications of whatever I have intentionally dropped.
For me, frequenting spaces (virtual, live) that highlight the harm of productivity culture has been a lifeline. Similarly, spending time with people who encourage humanity over perfectionism has been vital. Now, when I find myself in environments that focus on unobtainable standards, I do my best to be the voice promoting self kindness. It can be scary to show our messiness to others, but I am generally pleasantly surprised by the appreciative reactions I receive. Letting others in on the disarray of our own lives is truly a culture making (h/t Kelly Diels) and relationship building move.
Resources For Combating Overwhelm
For anyone else struggling with stress and overwhelm, I am sharing some books that have helped me on my journey:
- Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu provides real wisdom on letting go of less important things so that we can do our best in the areas that matter. We cannot do it all and balls will be dropped, so shouldn’t we be intentional about which balls we are dropping?
- Overwhelmed: How To Work, Love, And Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte has substantially impacted me. Shulte’s investigation into family structure, American work life, and leisure really brings into question so many of our societies norms. Her research has made me examine how societies and individuals can do thing differently.
- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski is my most recent read. This book is so impactful that I started recommending it while I was still on chapter one. I appreciate their use of research to support a view of wellness that is very different from what is seen in mainstream publications. The main premise of the book, the need to separate intellectually addressing stressors from physically completing the stress cycle, was a complete revelation to me.
Financial Overwhelm
Here is where I (not so subtly) tie this conversation on overwhelm back to my own work in financial planning. Personal finances are overwhelming. We all have fears that we are managing our finances wrong.
Try googling the top causes of stress and you will find the first result is – you guessed it – money! Our society revolves around money and we all require some degree of money to simply exist in the world. Unfortunately, many of the financial stressors we encounter don’t have easy answers. For example, inflation is a very significant issue that is currently impacting us all, but something over which we have no control.
Areas Within Our Control
The good news is that there are issues over which we do have some do have control. In prior newsletters I have highlighted some of these areas such as exploring our spending behaviors and identifying our money fears.
Financial knowledge is another area within our control. Increasing one’s grasp of personal finances allows people to gain control over their money, thereby reducing the stress. It is easier to make decisions when we feel confident that we understand what we are choosing.
Retirement Planning Overwhelms Many People
One particularly frightening area for many is retirement savings. There are many individual reasons folks delay saving, but the common theme is that retirement saving is confusing and overwhelming. It is easy to put it off for a future date and then keep pushing out further.
Once we know where to start, we will find that there are really just a handful of decisions to be made. When we understand the underlying aspects of those decisions they are often simple decisions.
Additionally, it is easy to have fear around making “the wrong” decision. Know that most retirement plans allow you to make changes. If someone decides they need to contribute more money at a later date, they can likely change their contribution amount. Many plans allow you to change your investments frequently. While it is important not to make rash or uninformed decisions, it is equally vital to not let the fear of wrong decisions cause inertia.
Common Areas of Concern
For those who feel like they should be saving for retirement, but are not really sure about the how and the where, that is an area I can help with. Please know that you are not alone. I frequently speak with people who have the following concerns:
- They feel like they have at least a little money they can save, but are unclear about how to get started.
- They are self employed and don’t know where (what type of account, custodian, etc.) to save their money for the best results.
- They have a workplace retirement plan that they are eligible for (or will soon be eligible for), but are unsure about signing up.
- They are currently saving for retirement but are concerned about or do not understand the elections they have made.
- They made a plan for retirement a number of years ago but, either due to the passage of time or life changes, they are no longer sure they are on the right path.
For those with questions about retirement, savings, or investments, these can be valuable areas to ask for help. Schedule a free fit call to discover if I can help you to explore your current unique situation and help to analyze your personal next best step.
My wish for this holiday season is that we can all make it through with less overwhelm by increasing our self compassion. While it is not always easy, I will continue reminding myself that I am striving for a season filled with joy not perfection.