The concept of the mental load first entered my radar a few years ago, after reading the comic You Should Have Asked by Emma. I believe the topic of the mental load is not discussed nearly enough. It helps explain why so many women suffer from stress, anxiety, and burnout.
What is the Mental Load?
For those not familiar with the term, the mental load, also referred to as cognitive labor, refers to the necessary household responsibilities that require mental labor rather than simply physical tasks. For example, cooking dinner is a physical task. Deciding what to make, planning ahead to make sure that you have all the ingredients, knowing who in the family eats what, etc. are all mental tasks.
The Gendered Division of Cognative Labor
Cognitive labor is, obviously, not only performed by women. There are many households that do not even contain women. There are others in which cognitive labor is divided somewhat evenly between adults of all genders.
Societally, however, women carry the greater portion of the mental load. Historically, the domestic sphere has been identified as feminine. All things home and family were considered to be the responsibility of women. Within the past century, as women began making greater contributions to the household earnings, it did not substantially decrease their household responsibilities, either physical or mental.
Even as household chores become more equitably divided with each new generation, it seems the cognitive labor still falls heavily upon women. Women’s mental load grew to encompass both home and work responsibilities.
Since the above mentioned comic came out the idea of the mental load has become more mainstream. When we consider the effect upon women of handling the cognitive labor, we must consider the impact this has upon the financial lives of women.
What Does this Mean for Women’s Finances?
In my years of working in personal finance I have found that, as a whole, women are less confident in their money skills than men. Surveys confirm that women feel less knowledgeable and capable than men in the area of money. If you have read my blogs or follow me on social media you have undoubtedly heard me discuss the reasons for this. (If you have not yet seen it, check out my blog Rethinking What You Know About Women and Money for my thoughts on this topic.)
Overwhelm Leads to Financial Neglect
One aspect that is often overlooked is the effect of the mental load on women’s participation in family finances. So many women tell me that they neglect their finances due to overwhelm. But what is the source of the overwhelm? Is it the money matters themselves are overwhelming?
What if the truth is not that finances are overwhelming but that life is overwhelming and finances are just one more thing to add to your “to do” list? Consider that women may not under educated in the area of finance due to lack of interest, ability, or exposure. Maybe, instead, they simply don’t have the capacity to devote the time and energy to it because of all of the other things on their plates?
Loyalty or a Lack of Capacity?
In the personal finance space there is a belief that women are more loyal customers. Statistics show women are less likely to change financial professionals. They are more likely to stick with the same advisor, accountant, or insurance agent for a long time. The conclusion drawn is generally that women are more relationship oriented and commit to the provider rather than the product or outcome.
I do not discount that women may place high value on interpersonal relationships. But, I also believe that in addition to loyalty, there is a capacity issue at play. In Episode 17 of The Feminist Finance Podcast, guest Garance Wattez-Richard calls this a myth, saying:We [women] find what we need and we take the time to find what we need. But then we don’t have time to then go and say ‘let’s look for a better yield on my life insurance. Let me be a bit more competitive and then I can tell my girlfriends that I got a 2% on my life insurance’… of course we would like to do be able to do that. But because we are in the middle of an appointment with the pediatrician while being on a conference call before going to the retirement home well, you know what, we just don’t do it. So there is a form of loyalty, but there is also a form of prioritization…We just don’t have time.
I find Wattez-Richard’s statement to be quite insightful. I would add to her comment that, in addition to lacking time, we are also lacking the mental space. Women may be juggling grocery lists, school schedules, holiday gifts, vacation plans, etc. There are so many things to keep track of that checking your retirement account quarterly or reassessing your auto insurance each year may not make the list. You don’t have the time, but you also don’t have the cognitive capacity to worry about it. So, you tell yourself “I’m sure it is fine.”
The problem here is that the end result is negative for women’s financial health.
Avoid Letting the Mental Load Derail Your Finances
If women are using their mental space to care of others and manage households then they may be neglecting their own finances and putting their own future at risk. Instead, I see a few ways forward.
Prioritize
First, we must decide on our priorities. In Wattez-Richard’s example above, getting a better yield on your life insurance may not be of great urgency. In fact women, particularly those who employ a financial advisor to ensure they stay on track, may benefit from their lack of micromanagement when it comes to matters such as choosing investments.
Other financial circumstances, however, may be suffering from the neglect. For example, suppose you decide to increase your 401(k) contributions but it takes you six months to get around to it. In that case your retirement account will suffer from the lesser contributions. Offloading cognitive tasks such as meal planning or appointment scheduling to a partner would benefit you financially. (Or you can just use my meal planning method and default to scrambled eggs for dinner frequently.)
Automate
Another solution is to automate as much as you can. Have your investment accounts re-balance automatically. Set up electronic bill pay. The more that is preset, the less head space it will take up. Technology may allow you to reduce both your cognitive load and your task list.
Schedule
Finally, for those necessary and recurring tasks, make sure you put them on your calendar. Enter an appointment with yourself to review your retirement account every January. Review your auto insurance policy whenever you renew your license plate tabs. Identify the items that will have the greatest impact and schedule them so that they don’t get away from you. Once you have added important financial tasks to your calendar you can release them from your mind until an appointment reminder pops up. You have freed up that mental space for other matters.
We all have so many items warring for space in our brain. It can be easy to focus on the immediate items that feel urgent and let the big picture tasks slide. But if we allow cognitive overwhelm to lead to financial irresponsibility we are causing problems for our future selves.