So many of us have lives that seemingly revolve around money. We work hard in school so that we can get a good job. We work even harder at that job to receive the promotion. And the main reason we work? Money.
But, what if it’s not about the money?
Most people would tell you that they work hard for their money and would like to have even more money. Quite often people say their greatest wish is for more money. They spend their hard earned money on the lottery or gambling in hopes of hitting it big. They work at unfulfilling jobs solely because of the paycheck.
What is behind this wish? Let’s dig deeper to consider why so many people yearn for money.
Money, in and of itself, is meaningless. It is a piece of paper printed by the government (or the electronic equivalent showing a value in an account.) What people actually desire is what they think the money can buy or the problem they believe it could solve.
What is that thing you want money for? What need would money fill for you? What problem could it solve? Would money…
- provide you with a sense of security or independence?
- make you feel accomplished and special?
- grant you freedom over your time?
- afford you access to activities that bring you pleasure?
- allow you to care for your love ones?
What is your why?
It’s not really about the money. It is about the desire you imagine money would fulfill.
So, take some time to figure out what it is that you truly wish for. What is your why?
Assess your why, your desires, your reasons for wanting money. Then you can ask yourself if you are managing your money in a way that facilitates reaching your goals.
Somewhat recently I realized that one of my whys was time freedom. I wanted more time to spend with my family, to enjoy leisure activities. I wanted to spend my days doing things that mattered to me, not things that were required.
Another of my whys is community. I am an extroverted, empathetic, and people centered. I enjoy spending time in collaborative environments. Helping others brings me joy.
When I truly recognized and came to terms with these whys, it became apparent to me that my time was not being spent in pursuit of these goals. In my job, my time and focus were predominately set by others. I was earning money and was competing tasks that I generally enjoyed. But my position was not bringing me closer to achieving time freedom. Nor was it helping me to build community in the thoughtful, justice aware way that I sought. In order to fulfill my need for community, relationships, and service I was using up any of the time freedom that I did possess.
My Personal Why: The Reason I Launched My Firm
This is the reason that I launched Maura Madden Financial Planning LLC in March, 2021. My goal in building this practice is to use my skill and knowledge to help others with their personal finances. I wish to build a community that focuses upon earning, spending, saving, and investing money in meaningful ways that allow us to move closer to achieving our desires. I want to help others to recognize their why and work to achieve it.
All too often, financial planning is lumped in with investment advice and product sales. Planning is used as a tool to convince someone to buy life insurance or to discover if they can be less aggressive in their investment approach. While these are certainly important elements of planning for your monetary future, the plan itself should not just be a sales device.
Rather, an important element of planning should involve flushing out our goals and desires. What do you want? How can money help you to achieve it? How much money is needed to achieve it?
Our goal should not be to make and save as much money as we can at any cost. Rather, our objective should be to find strategies, including earnings, savings, spending, insurance, legal, and tax strategies that help us to best accomplish our goals.
It took me a long time to get to this point. It is not an easy shift. I spent over 20 years working for firms and corporations before making this leap. I spent years considering what I was craving before even recognizing my desire for time and community. I was so entrenched in the patriarchal system that I truly thought titles and money would bring me validation. In the beautiful language of Dr. Brooke Hofsess, I was Chasing Validation rather than Tending Significance.
We All Still Need Financial Security
I recognize that I am privileged to be able to take this journey. I have financial security, family support, good health, and many other items that enable me to strike out on my own. I feel very fortunate.
I am in no way discouraging people from earning money. Money is an unavoidable necessity in our world. Rather, my message is to look beyond the money to determine your true motivation. You may find, like I did, that your actions do not match your goals.
My message is not as simple as quit your job and follow your dreams. I am a financial planner, after all! I believe in the importance of financial security. I understand that we live in a society with very limited social supports (particularly those of us in the United States). Death of loved ones, disability, and illness are all very real threats to our security. Many of us have dependents relying upon us.
Internalized Societal Messaging
I have found myself opening up to more creative ways of thinking than I considered in my 20s and 30s. The societal message we all receive is to study hard, get an education, get a job, work your way up and earn as much money as you can. In addition to chasing professional “success” we are told that we should marry, have children, buy a home, amass physical possessions, give our kids the best of everything.
You may truly crave all of those things. You may desire some of those things. Or maybe that all feels hollow. We are all different. We all diverse needs and experiences, so there is no right answer. Lately I have been focusing upon leaning into myself and feeling which of those expectations actually speaks to me and which are the result of internalizing societal messaging.
We need to ask, as Kelly Diel’s models in her We Are The Culture Makers framework, who is getting off the hook when we follow the prescription of financial success at all costs? If we all chase money at any cost, if we chase the materialism that requires money, then we are supporting the status quo. Clearly the existing patriarchal, white supremacist, capitalist power structure is the main beneficiary. Those with money are power are motivated to reinforce the structure that provides them with that money and power.
Whoa, that got deep and political quickly! But then, money is very political.
As a financial planner I want to help people to reconcile their money lives with the rest of their lives. I don’t mean to scare anyone off or to shame anyone for their money or materialistic desires. I have materialistic desires. I do many things in my life that support the existing power structure and systems. This is the world we live in.
To me it is a question of intentionality. Are you managing your money in a way that feels good to you? In a way that serves you? In a way that helps you achieve your true goals?
The predominate societal message is to get money, more money, at any cost. But often that is not a way of life that benefits you. It may keep you on the hamster wheel. It may keep you from focusing on other ways of achieving your desires.
In order to get clear on what we want from our money, we need to start by thinking of our desires outside of the realm of money. Then we can consider how we can use money as a tool to reach our goals.