While working on his homework, my then kindergartner told me, “practice makes progress.” He said it in the rote way of a child who had heard the saying many times, but the twist on the old adage was new to me. As someone who grew up in an era of perfectionism and good girl syndrome, I was thrilled to see the removal of perfection as the goal of practice.
Progress is attainable. Perfection is not.
There are plenty of reasons to want to improve performance. Growing our skills can increase ease, bring us pleasure, enable us to help others, expand our opportunities, and can increase our confidence.
In kindergarten they are learning basic skills such as reading and math. These skills are extremely helpful, if not vital, for navigating in our society. As a middle aged person with a masters degree and oodles of practice, I feel secure in saying that he will never “perfect” math or language arts. There is always something new to learn. We will always make errors. But, my child does need practice if he wishes to gain fluency in these subjects.
My Recent Mistake
I first heard the statement practice makes progress at a very opportune time. My son shared this wisdom as I was navigating some feedback regarding my business writing. I had been kindly and generously alerted that a piece I had written may be triggering to those in a marginalized group.
My immediate response was very emotional. I felt guilt over potentially causing harm to others. Not recognizing the ramifications of my own words brought me embarrassment. I experienced shame that I had produced content contradicting both the opinions I wish to convey and my own view of myself.
When this was brought to my attention, I apologized for producing harmful messaging. It was tempting to try to justify my words and proclaim good intent. But, I have to recognize that intent means little to nothing when it comes to harming and upholding the oppression of marginalized groups.
Commitment to Progress
I also realize that I am not perfect. None of my newsletters or social media posts will ever be perfect. (This blog alone should be proof of that.) I can never avoid all harm to all people.
This is where the practice comes in. Like all of us, I am a work in progress and my writing reflects this. I will try to get it right, screw it up, apologize, make amends, and try again. Hopefully, with each error, I will grow and improve.
It is so tempting to beat myself up, to hide, or to give up until a time when I can do everything perfectly. But, if all of us seeking social justice hide due to imperfection, then we abandoning our own principles as well as those whom we strive to support through ally-ship.
Rejecting Perfectionism
So many of us grew up in a culture that teaches us “if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.” Personally, I have avoided many potentially rewarding activities because I felt my performance was not good enough to allow my participation.
I appreciate that today many individuals striving to change the narrative. A quick google search will bring up numerous quotes on how our best is good enough and we should strive for done rather than perfect.
Yet, these messages to reject perfectionism exist within a society that generally demands it anyway. Even the most “beautiful” people need to be photo-shopped in order to be magazine worthy. We are inundated with lists telling us about the “success” of the richest people in the world.
Women are told not to strive for perfection. Instead we should have a fulfilling job, a supportive relationship, well-adjusted children, a welcoming home, an active social life, etc. But, we should do all of this without falling into the trap of seeking perfection. Show your messy side, just make sure the mess is curated and attractive.
Are you as confused as I am? It reminds me a lot of how the beauty industry tells us we need 47 different products to achieve a “natural” look.
Financial Progress
There is also no perfect in personal finance. Few people ever feel rich enough. We know we should plan ahead, but it is not possible to protect against every possible financial liability…and if we could we would be substantially over-insured. Even the most seasoned and knowledgeable investors get it wrong sometimes.
What each of us can do, is to make progress. Without a sudden windfall, nobody turns their financial situation around overnight. This does not mean we have to give up.
Some ways to make financial progress include:
- Focus on intentional spending.
- Establish a plan for systematized savings, then make small increases over time.
- Expose yourself to educational materials regarding finance. This may include books, television, magazines, social media, or podcasts.
- Start talking about money with others. Financial transparency can help us to learn and also help us to gain a better perspective on our own situation.
- Negotiate with more resolve at your new job or next salary review.
- Gradually pay down debt.
- Avoid overdrafts and missed credit payments to build up your credit score.
Defining our Goals
Ultimately we all have to decide what our own goals are. We have to decide what progress means to us.
Some financial goals may be concrete such as a new car or a vacation. Other goals involve achieving a certain way of life, such as financial security or freedom.
Progress for my kindergartner may be adding a few new sight words each month. I hope to find myself more effective in critically reviewing and editing my writing prior to publishing. Just as my child will not be reading chapter books next month, I will not avoid all missteps in my work. We can both strive for small improvements that build upon one another. We will continue to practice and to progress.