Scrimping may be a necessity and a survival skill. It may also be a learned behavior that is no longer imperative. Critical consideration of when and how we expend our resources leads to improved outcomes.
Personal Examples of Scrimping
While making breakfast the other morning I started thinking about my relationship with blueberries. I love blueberries, they are one of my favorite foods. But, I generally skimp on them, eating only small amounts mixed with other items. I have the same relationship with Avocados, another favorite. I recognize the reason for this…growing up these were expensive foods that we only got small amounts of occasionally because of the cost. A pint of blueberries or an avocado was somewhat rare in our household and had to be shared with a family of four.
Today these foods are much more plentiful in my life. I could eat them every day (season permitting), yet I still ration them. Ironically, I feed my child bowl after bowl of plain blueberries, but not myself. This is clearly a mindset issue. I am denying myself a food that is healthy and that I enjoy.
Examine the Motivation Behind the Behavior
I recognize my privilege in being able to purchase these relatively expensive foods. But, I eat other more costly foods without hesitation, so it is not the cost that is preventing my consumption.
Similarly, my partner scrimps on building supplies. His main hobby is home improvement and he learned many of his skills from his father. His father lived through the great depression and learned how to do repairs and improvements using reclaimed materials. Back then, re-use of old materials wasn’t an environmental practice or trendy. It was a necessity.
This is how my husband learned and, to this day, he tries to salvage materials for his projects. Some of this he does consciously for environmental or economic reasons. Other times, however, recycling materials may not be the most effective option. Instead, he is operating from a habit learned long ago.
Societal Pressure to Spend
I don’t want to knock scrimping, sometimes it can be of great benefit. Modern society encourages us all to spend first and question later. Thinking “do I really need this?” can be a great boost to your budget. Also, being conscientious about what you purchase and use can have a positive environmental impact. It’s easy to laugh at your grandmother wearing the same sweater for twenty years. But, think how much waste would be avoided if we all did that!
When Scrimping Hinders Pleasure
The flip side, however, is that we may be unnecessarily depriving ourselves of joy. Eating blueberries and avocados brings me pleasure without any real downside. If I deny myself these foods I am likely eating something at least as expensive and less nutrient dense in their place.
Similarly, my partner is benefiting the environment and our budget when he resists purchasing some items new. At other times, however, he may be denying himself unnecessarily. Many times I have seen him put off buying a desired tool. When he eventually makes the purchase he is super excited about the new projects now possible. Often he realizes how much time and work he is saving himself using the new tool.
As both financial planner and a frugal individual I would never recommend that you rush out to buy whatever you want whenever you want. But, I do encourage you to consider where you may be unconsciously scrimping due to outdated beliefs or habits.
Consider Your Own Spending Habits
Throughout your day pay special attention to what you limiting or denying yourself. Then ask why? Or, if you are a writer, journal all of the things – particularly little things – that bring you joy. See if you are unnecessarily depriving yourself.
Scrimping as a Productivity Motivator
I have illustrated how my family scrimps because of outgrown habits. Another cause of unnecessary frugality is the idea, prevalent in our productivity oriented society, that we must always be worthy of pleasure. The capitalist narrative tells us that we exist to produce. Enjoyment is a luxury that must be earned. Therefore, most of us attempt to motivate ourselves with the promise of future rewards. We tell ourselves “if I finish this project I can take a break.”
Incorporating pleasure into my daily life is something that I am working on currently in both the personal space (with coach Jamie Greenwood) and professional arena (with feminist business mentor Lauren Elizabeth). This work has helped me to recognize that I often operate on the misguided belief that pleasure should be delayed.
Unfortunately, the result is not greater productivity. Instead I am just denying myself joy. Ironically, I may even reduce my productivity because I accomplish more when I am experiencing enjoyment. I increase the drudgery of certain aspects of my life by unnecessarily denying myself satisfaction.
An example of this for me is candles. I have always thought of candles as only for special occasions. The result is that I hoard rather than enjoy candles. As I discussed in a recent Instagram Post, I have recently started burning lovely scented candles while I work. This allows me to bring a small pleasure into my everyday life.
Crafting is another area in which I tend to hold resources in reserve. I will save favorite paper, yarn, etc. until the exact right project. I await the perfect situation rather than receiving satisfaction by using them.
Denied Gratification Can Lead to Excessive Consumption
There is a connection between delayed or denied gratification and spending. When we deprive ourselves we create a yearning. So many Americans, particularly women, have been conditioned to combat those feelings of need with spending. The term Retail Therapy was coined for a reason. When we deny ourselves these small doses of pleasure we often create a vacuum that we try to fill through more expensive channels such as shopping, dining, and travel.
As with so many other areas of life and personal finance, consciousness is key. Intentionally practicing frugality, making earth-conscious choices, and reserving cherished items/practices for specific rituals can be very beneficial. But denying ourselves joy due to outdated beliefs, unexamined social norms, and general habit can be harmful.
If I deny myself blueberries, and instead snack on candy, that is benefiting no one. I’ve spent the same money, received less pleasure, and my body feels worse.
What are you unconsciously rationing? How have you unnecessarily been denying yourself joy or pleasure?